Jolstin, the Mundane

LAND: area previously known as Drekaland (now Dreka)

SEX: Male

Father to the future King Gharnn and his older son, Bhlarg, Jolstin was once a ruler of the Kingdom of Tomayto. He had a peaceful reign, known for lacking in both intelligence and general enthusiasm, gaining him the nickname “Jolstin the Mundane.” It was a moniker he wasn’t necessarily offended by, primarily since he didn’t know what the word meant and assumed it must be positive.

The king is most often remembered for his manner of passing on prematurely due to consumption of spoiled food. His drinking of Octomilk that had been expired (Jolstin had mistakenly read the date markings upside down) became a farce famously re-enacted by performers before the Purge of King Drakon. The tale was a popular one in which Jolstin is depicted as mistaking the markings on the Octomilk jar in every manner possible (sideways, backward, in another language, etc.). Upon finally reading it correctly, he realizes he doesn’t know what day it is nor how to tell time in general, choosing to drink it anyway. It was most famously performed by Nonkee the Over-Achiever, whose one-time-only depiction was critically lauded for its attention to detail. Unfortunately for Nonkee, he chose to drink real expired Octomilk himself on stage in order to give a more accurate performance. He too passed away abruptly to thunderous (though quite misplaced) applause.

Jolstin’s final resting place is in the Chimmyfruit Hills of what is now called Dreka. His family went on to have their own numerous adventures, many of which have become equally (if not more) famous. The ruling of Tomayto went to his youngest son Gharnn, followed by his mate, Kaytney.